Autsin, TX. I'm sitting in my cousin Lacey's living room on her black leather couch. Her daughter walks into the kitchen, she's wearing a grey tank top featuring the sisters from Frozen. "Mommy, I don't want to take a nap" she says. Lacey looks down into her daughters eyes "Kaia, you have to take a nap so we can go out later". Kaia slinks into her bedroom while looking at me in her peripheral vision. Both of Lacey's kids seem unsure of me being there. Kaiden is five and is the more welcoming of the two. It's been over a year since I last saw them so I don't blame them for not recognizing me as "Cousin Jamie". Frontier Airlines' sales were an easy excuse for a trip, but in truth I felt I needed a getaway.

For the next couple hours, I watch Lacey repeat the same battle with Kaia. Lacey wants the kids to nap, Kaia wants to stay with her mom. Occasionally, the four year old would say "Mommy, I love you. I just wanted to tell you I love you". Mia sometimes grabs the collar of my shirt and pulls me in for a kiss, rather than letting go after one she makes sure she gets in three or four. My daughter has stayed on my mind for the past three days. Feelings of guilt intensify when I see how much Kaia vies for Lacey's attention. It's going on four o'clock and it becomes obvious the kids aren't going to nap. Lacey packs them into the car, and we head South.

Kaia snoozed in the car seat for the 30 minute trip to downtown Austin. What is Mia doing while I'm away from her? My husband told me when her picked her up from school, she mistook the petite blonde woman sitting next to him for me. Her face fell with disappointment when she saw I wasn't there. Why did I ever feel like I needed to get away from her? Do people take vacations just so they can appreciate who they have waiting for them back home? This is my first vacation away from my daughter. Seeing Lacey with her kids makes me acutely aware that I need to be with mine.