My bedroom, 2:00am November 2013. "How old is your child?" 1 "Does your child laugh a lot?" Yes "Does your child focus on parts of toys rather than toys?" Yes "Does your child often flap hands?" Yes. Earlier that day, I was talking to one of my best friends on the phone. "Can you believe that my mom thinks Mia may have Autism?" I asked her. Silence. "Wait a minute, I said. Do you think Mia has Autism?" I asked defensively. "It couldn't hurt to have it checked out" her reply was meek and carefully worded. Up til this moment, I had a blissful ignorance to my daughters behavior. Her withdrawal from the world around her was easily attributed to her personality. I took pride that she wasn't interested in validation from others. Maybe she has bad eye sight, that's why she wont look anyone in the eye. And her arm flapping was just an adorable way for her to express herself. I was certain they were wrong.

I'd had my own bouts with hypochondria in the past, and thankfully I had never had my fears confirmed. The rest of the day was uneventful, but I couldnt help but look at Mia a little differently. How could anyone see Autism in my little girl? Mia doesn't act like all the Autistic kids I've seen. No matter how crazy I told myself it was, I couldn't shake their concerns that Mia may have Autism. I tried to sleep only to find myself staring into my phone in the middle of the night. "Do you feel your child prefers to be alone?" The blue glow from the screen was the only light illuminating the room. The results were in. "It seems your child may have Autism." My heart pounding, I clicked the lock button on the top right corner of the phone. In the darkess, only Autism was reverberating in my head. There was nothing to do but cry.